Becoming Home | Relevance

A reader’s recent words hitched onto my thoughts, riding along as I’ve gone throughout my days, popping to the forefront often. When this happens, I know to pay attention, to consider the value that has weighted the words and listen to the message behind them. There’s honesty there, and truth that’s more universal than we might think. And when we pause to have a deeper look, we might find ourselves nodding, agreeing that we, too, have known a similar experience.

She’s gotten a notebook and titled the columns, she said, but is admittedly having a hard time filling them out, trying, after 26 years in her home, to see where the pros are, where the cons might be. All this because, largely (and maybe without noticing before, but surely noticing now) so much about what’s in her house doesn’t feel like now to her.

Here’s where the bell rang for me.

The significance of relevance in our homes can’t be overlooked. It is deep and true and powerful to our experience. Relevance, if we need to freshen our understanding, is the quality or state of being closely connected or appropriate. Superimpose this over a house (and its things) that fits it, and there’s your place.

Over time, we change and grow and develop. Like her, let’s go ahead and recognize this. Then, let’s own it, believe it, celebrate it. Let’s give ourselves permission to be different than we once were, to be drawn to different things, to have a different understanding than we once had. In our design aesthetic, let’s not hold ourselves back, bound to what it used to be. Instead, let’s let what we used to be become a fresh interpretation of who we are now.

Once we’ve turned this key in the lock, we may just find that the next steps are easier simply because now we’re free. Then, let’s not hesitate to take our time, and go from here to here to here, then back to here as much as we need to. (I’ve been going through a similar process recently, in a particular area, and have been amazed at how much closer I’ve arrived at the core of who I am with every edit). In so doing, we will have removed the mental clang that happens when relevance is out of balance, and every pass will bring us closer to home.

How about you? Have you found relevance to be key as your house is becoming home?

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Becoming Home is a series about how to take a dwelling from house to home; a guide with measured steps to get from here to there.